Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Randomize
