Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Randomize
