I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
I know her cup size but not her name....
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