uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
