You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
