Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
These tits shall not be calmed
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
