Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize