So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
