I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
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