one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
