I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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