Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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