NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize
