I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Randomize
