He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize