You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Randomize