FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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