i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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