doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
