Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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