but the lizard people decide everything anyway
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
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