hell yes lets make some ravioli
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
