They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
