His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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