I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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