So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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