dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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