They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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