I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
