yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
