Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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