do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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