So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
