i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
