is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
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