he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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