i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
My vagina is officially offended.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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