I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
