I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
