dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Randomize
