chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
