Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Sext me about skeletons
Randomize
