i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
i just google imaged poop.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Panties = found
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize