idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
