Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
