Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Randomize
