im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
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