He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
