Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
