is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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