you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
i wish my penis had a tongue
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
