I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Randomize