i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
