you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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