I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
