Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Randomize
