your thong is hanging out like whoa
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
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