were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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