dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
